A Valentine's Recap

Yesterday was such a weird day. It didn't really feel like Valentine's Day to me, which wasn't a bad thing. Life just felt really heavy- A lot is going on. (and it has been lately- with internal things going on in me and SO much going on with people around me).

I recently reconnected with one of my favorite teachers from HS. Him and his wife were so important to me (and still are). I'm not sure what happened a few years ago, but all of that is really for another post. But I wrote an email about 1-2 weeks ago (cant remember now) and we're catching up. His nephew was recently (like a week ago) diagnosed with optical cancer. Really rare. His surgery was today. I have a wonderful family on my caseload who also has been going through treatment for their almost 2 (on Saturday!) year old for retinal blastoma. (I love the timing of all of this... it's speaking to me). So I was talking to this mom about it all and trying to connect them (both live in CO!) all while thinking of their families and wondering why these things happen. That was in the morning.

My best friend Rachel's grandma passed away last week. She was one of the loveliest people I've known. Her memorial was yesterday afternoon. It's so hard to lose someone so incredibly special and rare. She was so happy- truly happy, and joyful, funny, optimistic, outgoing, and adventurous! In her Eulogy, one of the things said was "If you ever met Nana- you remembered her... and she remembered you!" Everyone was her friend. She was a special, special person. It's hard to see people you care about in pain and feeling so much loss. It also brought up a lot of emotions about my own grandma and losing her. She was also a wonderful lady.

Nana and I at my wedding 2009

One of my best friends was there. Again- another situation where things have been really unsettled (for me at least). I've been in a lot of pain about this relationship, but have continued to think about him-even more so recently. Wanting to connect, but not wanting to get hurt. I've been angry and sad about it and I deleted him off of everything a few months ago. And today- I was so happy to see him. We talked a bit and I think there are hard things there with him too. I'm hoping we get to meet up soon and really catch up and restore our friendship. But it left me thinking about him and what's going on and feeling sad that things have been difficult for him lately.

It started snowing at the funeral- luckily roads were not bad. I got home and was going to work, but ended up not (more to catch up on). Our furnace has been broken since 2 nights ago. We keep the house pretty cold most of the time anyways, so it's really only a few degrees lower than normal. I am wearing two layers and am just fine. But it means deciding to fix whatever needs to be fixed or replacing the whole system (our AC, water heater and furnace are not in great shape). So that makes me a little worried about money and feeling guilty for not saving more (or maybe about what I have spent) and not working to be in a better financial position. I think it will be okay and we will figure it out- just one more thing to think about though.;.

And then I/we found out about Jack's infection. Bummer!

One of my fave pics of us 2009

And the whole day- Colin was working- teaching and then immediately parent teacher conferences for the whole evening. WHO schedules parent teacher conferences on Valentine's day. I'm pretty upset about that one. UGH!

I got this dress about 2 years ago and have never worn it. I didn't think people still wore all black to funerals, but apparently they do! A little much, but I think Nana would have loved it! I wish I was wearing it to go on a hot Valentine's date with Colin, but it was not to be. Maybe next year.

So that was this Valentine's day. Real and messy and really emotional. And it leaves me feeling so thankful for everything good in my life and the love and people I have. It's so precious.