We've been home about 5 days now. We had a great trip, but I was ready to come home, but not back to work of course :) We flew home Sunday- all day. Both flights were delayed. We had a few minutes of bad turbulence on the first flight where I had a thought for about 5 seconds thinking "are we crashing, is this what it feels like?", but luckily we didn't crash, just dropped like on a roller coaster! Eeek! The last flight was horrible- I was miserable. I had not felt good for the past 48 hours. I think all the foods I had been eating finally caught up to me and I did not feel good. We got in super late on Sunday night. My step dad picked us up, we picked up the dogs and drove home. I slept okay that night and woke up kind of early, but totally felt out of it and still sick. I unpacked, did some laundry and we went and got a few groceries. I also went through all of my work email... not fun. Tuesday morning, I woke up at 430am and could not go back to sleep (hate jet lag!). I went back to the office on Tuesday and have had a full week at work since.
I know it takes a few days to feel settled again, but I feel like this time home I'm just a bit off. I am trying to go easy on myself and give myself a week or so to get back into it all, but I am just not feeling like doing anything (work, eating healthily, exercise, projects) :( I'm trying to figure out what it is and what's going on, but I can't quite put my finger on it...
I do know that:
- Work has been incredibly stressful already. There's a lot going on with the families I work with, a lot came up while I was away, and I have a lot of ends I need to tie up and things I need to arrange and coordinate, which leaves me feeling unsettled. I also don't feel like I want to do a lot of it, so that doesn't help anything! I find it's so hard to come back to work, even though I did have a nice break from it.
-I also gained about 5 lbs back, which is fine. I didn't always have control over what and where we ate. I feel like I was more aware of when I was full and tried not to overeat. I did eat a lot more sugar, carbs and fried foods (foods that I have limited at home) and I'm sure that hasn't helped my mood. Since being home, it's been hard to find things I want to eat. I think I need to make a few things to have on hand, like the egg things I made all of June.
- I am not interested in exercising right now, sadly. I am slightly worried about my joints and what I can and should do, since I was in a lot of pain in N.Ireland. I know a lot of it had to do with the moisture and coldness and climate, but I'm kind of worried about that. We did sign up for the Really Big Free Marathon in Vegas which is at the start of November. Today is the day we need to decide in order to get our deposit back. I haven't decided if I'm going to run it, but I need to soon! There's a three mile run tonight with Colin's running club and I just have no desire to go. I think I am a bit scared about how I am going to feel. The half was so incredibly hard and unenjoyable. I don't want to do a marathon (double the time and pain) and have it be as miserable as I was during the half.... So I dunno. I am thinking about running Colin's half next weekend. We're planning on doing 8 Sunday morning and I guess I'll have to see how I feel.
- I am bummed about my weight (or weight loss journey) in a way. I am fine that I gained a few pounds back, but I am sad seeing pics of myself on the trip. You would think 20 lbs would look like a lot more, but in my opinion of myself, I really can't see a big difference. I know I have about 35 lbs to go and I know it will take another 6 months at least and all of that's fine. But at this point, I just don't feel like it... I am hoping I will get back into it and not revert back and gain weight, but I am frustrated about all of that! I just want hard work to show- you know?
- I have a lot of house things I want to do and get done. I feel like my time is pretty limited (partly an excuse- I just need to do something each evening). This weekend we are helping my parents with the garage (getting up early and having the last garage sale hopefully). Their rental house needs a ton of work and I know that's what most of the next few weekends are going to consist of (sounds like tons of fun right? Not!), but it needs to get done. I just wish it already was. I would much rather sit by the pool in the mornings and do some of the projects I have to do in the afternoons...
-I'm sad about Colin's classes starting at the end of this month. He's going to be in evening classes M-Th, which is going to be hard for me. I am planning on running and going to the gym and doing some crafts, but still :( makes me sad. I like having him around. There seems to be a lot of unknowns and weird things happening at the school he's teaching at as well and that is also stressing me out slightly... hopefully it will all be ok.
-We've also been talking a bit about the future and what we want to do and trips we want to take, which all costs a bit of money and time off, etc... I just wish that money was not an issue in so many things. Colin and I are doing fine, but just need to be better with our money- ie: we need to stick to a budget and start being really intentional about saving and planning. We're taking small steps, but I really want us to be better about money, including how we give it, spend it and how we save it.
So, those are just a few things weighing on me this week. It was definitely nice to have a few weeks outside of real life to rest and relax and not think about things. I'm grateful for that time. Now I just need to figure out how to get back in the swing of things and take steps that are intentional in creating the kind of life I want to live.
Lots to think about...
Next up: Our trip, part 1!
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