3.08.2013

Getting from A to B

This is something I've always struggled with.

I can see what needs to be done, what I would love to happen, and what I would like ____ (fill in the blank) to look like or be like... and it is so incredibly difficult for me to not only get there, but even figure out how to get there (the day by day, week by week things that need to happen to create change).

Work this week was really difficult for me for a variety of reasons. Too many meetings, too much to do, too many people and things to follow up on. I worked basically a 12 hour day on Wednesday only to have to leave the house again at 745am on Thursday.  I was already 'done/exhausted/spent' Wednesday afternoon, but add on 4 more meetings that lasted more than an hour each with families... and I was fried by the time I finished yesterday. I used up all of my 'people energy' way earlier in the week and just had to keep going. I took a 4 hour nap on Thursday. I barely woke up at 9am today and tried really hard to get all the work things done I need to do before Monday. Maybe 1/4 got done, which means I will be working on Sunday. Add to that some ongoing issues with work/the company/how things are playing out... and it creates one really frustrated and fed-up girl. And I am not the only one feeling this way. Many more people in my department feel similarly.
Today, after barely being able to get out of bed.
I've been looking for jobs and trying to figure out what to do and how I can cope and manage and deal with it all until Colin is done with school (a little over 5 more years). I'm not very qualified for much else outside of what I'm doing or the jobs out there really do not pay enough (plus- I do have good benefits and my schedule is flexible). The things I'm qualified for are in this field and I have the best deal I will ever have in this field with the degree I have... so I'm kind of stuck. I've thought about going back to school and haven't quite decided that's for me. Plus- there's the whole needing to support us especially while Colin's in school. It's not news that Colin really doesn't make anything and we would not be able to pay our bills if I quit working.

Which leads me to continually thinking about how I can become self-employed and what kind of business I would like to build... and HOW?

HOW? is the biggest question really, for me at least.

I have no idea where to start or what to do or how to narrow my 'creative interests'. I like a lot of different things, none of which I have a lot of experience in. I like photography, but I don't want to do it full time- not as my sole way to make money. I love painting, but not sure how to get that really going. I love curating and collecting. I want to create things, design things, have a shop online and maybe a physical shop, and mostly- I want to love what I'm doing and have fun and meet amazing people.

How do I get from here to there?


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